Peanut on Making Promises

“Are you coming with us?” Mother asked while she was buttoning her blouse and getting ready for the family day party.

“No”, was my quick reply. I was busily reading Interview with the Vampire, a novel authored by Anne Rice.

There was a momentary silence. And Mother stopped what she is doing or I thought she did. Mother, together with father and my younger brother is to attend a family gathering that afternoon.

Maybe she hadn’t expected my reply for she asked,” But, why? It’s a party for families. You should come.”

I’m not in the mood to go and be smiling to everyone while I don’t feel like doing. I’d rather stay home and read. But instead I said, “I’m not feeling well. I feel dizzy nowadays. I’ll just stay here.”

She’s about to argue or still want to persuade me to change my mind but she instead said, “Oh, right. Rest now and maybe you’ll feel better later. You can still come if you feel better.”

I just nodded and continued reading. After the doorknob clicked signaling that they already left I closed the book and just stared at the ceiling blankly. It’s true that I don’t want to go because it seems a hassle on my part to be mingling with other people I barely know, but I felt something heavy that makes me want to cry. Is it self pity?

I used to like my Mother’s company fifteen years ago. Father is sometimes jealous that I most often than not to ask for Mother’s help instead of his.

I still remember clearly years ago…

I was in my third year in elementary then. I arrived home all sweat and still catching my breath from playing hide and seek outside with my neighbors. I heard Mother was back from her three-day business transaction as a Tupperware manager. So, I ran home to have a good talk on why she’s away for long.

“Ma,” I shouted while still at our doorstep. I heard voices at the kitchen so I immediately looked for Mother there. And there she was playing with my three-year old brother while having a chat with Father. “Ma, why have you been away for long?!” I demanded. “You told me you’ll be gone just for one day but one day passed you never showed up until today.”

Her expression didn’t change as if I’m not trying so hard to sound business-like just to get her attention. Well, darling,” she mused, “I’ve been busy with the promotion of our new products. It’s not that easy you know.”

“But you promised,” I insisted.

Mother just smiled at me. “Oh, sorry dear,” she said, “Next time I’ll bring you along with me. I promise.”

“Then let me go with you tomorrow!” I said in agitation.

Mother stared at me for a while and said. “Okay then, you can come with me tomorrow. Just be sure to wake up early.”

“Yes ma’am, I will!” I said in excitement.

I prepared the whole night for our upcoming trip tomorrow. I get my pink and blue back pack and stuffed it with my clothes and some of my toys. I plan to share it with the newest friend I’ll meet on our trip.

We’ll be leaving six o’ clock in the morning. I slept beside Mother so that it will be easy for me to wake up. I’m very much excited that I can barely sleep. I tossed and turned and kept on watching the time. Tic tac, tic tac, tic tac…

I can see a faint light at our window. I turned to Mother’s side but was alarmed when I realized that she’s not already around. I looked at our wall clock. It says thirty minutes down 6 o’ clock. I went to the bathroom, run to the backyard, and look for Mother everywhere in the house. Does this means that Mother left without trying to wake me up? Having sensed that she’s not already around, I grabbed my backpack and went straight to the town’s bus terminal. It’s almost a one-kilometer walk and I couldn’t even remember how I got there in less than thirty minutes.

The moment I arrived at the bus terminal I searched around the place looking for Mother. But she’s nowhere. I climbed the bus that is about to leave and asked the driver, ”Manong, have you seen Mother?”

“No.” is his short reply.

I then asked the dispatcher, “Manong, have you seen mother ride a bus?”

“No, no I haven’t” he said a little bit annoyed. “My child, you should get off now. The bus is about to leave.”

Feeling hopeless, I get off the bus and watched the bus as it moved slowly then speeded up until it was out of sight. I stayed there watching with a stooped head saying to myself, Where’s mother?

Whenever that incident crossed my mind, a famous line in the Peanut cartoon comes to mind readily that says,”Don’t make promises to a child and not keep them. It’s unkind!”

- assignment in M.E. Oct 17, 2009.